We now have more than 50 studies of joint physical custody. Using different methods, and examining families in the United States and abroad, the results are encouraging: children who spend at least 35 percent time with each parent, rather than live with one and visit the other, have better relationships with their fathers and mothers and do better academically, socially, and psychologically. As will be described next week at the International Conference on Shared Parenting in Boston, they get better grades; are less likely to smoke, get drunk, and use drugs; and are less susceptible to anxiety, depression, and stress-related illnesses.
This is a great roundtable discussion. I’d love it if they would go deeper into these questions and concepts, but I understand that people have short attention spans:
Director of The Red Pill, Cassie Jaye, gives a talk at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) – May 2017 Watch The Red Pill documentary on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mB13… Watch The Red Pill on Amazon, iTunes, Google Play, Vudu, Hulu, Xbox,…
An interesting study by: W. Bradford Wilcox and Laurie DeRose Our results suggest that there is something about marriage per se that bolsters stability. It could be the elaborate ritual marking the entry into marriage; the norms of commitment, fidelity, and…
Focus. Concentration.
Cooking with my kids is one of the many things I love to do when I have them. Preparing dinner together, then enjoying the amazing food we make together.
Yesterday was taco Thursday. My son made the guacamole and my daughter made the chicken to put into the tacos.
Its great to see them become so interested in cooking and enjoying the process.
This group would probably also speak out against deadbeat dads who don’t pay child support, and never see the irony in that. “A billboard on Interstate 40 West near Winston-Salem is angering many who say its message is offensive…
As women left Montclair, N.J., for marches in Washington and New York, family routines were radically altered, and many fathers had to meet weekend demands alone. http://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/22/nyregion/womens-march-montclair-nj.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share Is this another “bumbling dad” piece? This is The Onion right?…
Waking up at the crack of dawn sucks. It just does. Well, it does for me.
I’ve never been a morning person. I never will be. I like to get up at about 9 or 10AM. Well, that’s just not the life I’ve chosen to live.
You see, I get up so early for a reason.
I usually arrive home from work at 11PM. I’m totally wired and wide awake. I eventually wind down so I can get to sleep at around 1AM. My alarm goes off in the morning, but I snooze for a few more minutes before I jump out of bed. I try to shake the cobwebs out of my brain and think of where I parked my car so I can go pick up my kids.
I drive over to my ex-wife’s house and get my kids at 7:15AM. We spend about 45 minutes to an hour getting to school. There are mornings where we just listen to the radio. We sometimes laugh about stories from the previous day or if we see something silly on the way. When a serious event happens in our country, we might have a brief thought provoking discussion. When I see the opportunity, I let my kids know about some cold hard truths about growing up in America. They soak it all up like sponges. In the end, I have that special time with just me and my kids. It’s time well spent.
I get the balance of my sleep some time during the day by taking naps if I’m not working. I ain’t afraid to admit, I LOVE naps. Later in the day, I pick them up from school and we spend the afternoon together at my place until I bring them to their mom’s house after I cook them dinner.
It’s exhausting, but totally worth every hour I miss of sleep during the night.
Why do I do this to myself? Well, I asked this question this morning when I got out of bed. As soon as I thought of that question, I got my answer.
It’s because I love them. I really do.
After 14 years of fatherhood, nothing has changed. I’ve been there since the beginning. I’m glad I saw every little step my kids have taken over the years and witnessed every little development along the way. Our time is very limited on this planet and I am making sure I spend as much of it as I possibly can with my kids before they are adults and off on their own.
I wasn’t going to allow any silly “family court” system to keep me away from this. I’ll lose all kinds of sleep but I won’t lose out on being a father. That’s just not going to happen. I made sure of that.
Fathers….
We love our kids as much as mothers. We care too. We want to be there as much as we can even though we may be tired, working long hours, traveling, busting our ass to get a promotion or more money or any other thing that might keep us temporarily separate.
Dads…
We are not the babysitter. We are the guidance the protection, the focus, the spiritual uplift, the support system, the provider, the backbone, the rock, the stability, the L-O-V-E.
I heard about this artist and song today after chatting with a colleague of mine named Felton Offard on Facebook. (he’s an amazing guitarists by the way). He hipped me to this guy Sho Baraka. Sho has a great new album out called ” The Narrative.”
I think this is right on point:
I learned that love ain’t based on performance
Make a mistake and I will love you in the morning
I see life in my children’s eyes
And when I’m wrong I’ll be the first to apologize
Peace to all my fathers who are working through their flaws
Fulfilling their duties and they don’t do it for applause
It’s true, any fool with a tool can reproduce
But a father is that dude that’ll see it through
Forget the stereotypes lets be clear
There are good men out there we are here
……………..
How do you spell dad?
It goes L-O-V-E
How do you spell dad?
It goes L-O-V-E
How do you spell dad?
My kids…growing and growing-and so is my love for them.
Fatherhood is truly an amazing experience. Watching my kids develop into a young man and woman is fascinating.
The time we spend every morning on the way to school is special to me.
I get to talk to them about what is going on and how they are feeling. I get to hear stories about their friends, their teachers and their classroom discussions.
We talk about current events and what might be happening that later on that day at school or after school. We also might discuss how excited they might be about their day or if they are terrified about what might happen.
Raising children is fascinating. I can think of only one thing that I would change from the way my parents did with my upbringing. Just one. My father temporarily guided me away from my first love. Music. I have been…
When people make comments from time to time about men being bitter about their ex, I wonder how these people would feel if they were on the short end of the divorce stick. How would these people feel if they…
No good deed goes unpunished? Well, there will be a time when good deeds will no longer be done. There are just some people who will forever be ungrateful. I do my best to stay as far away from them as…
I recently told my kids about the events from the past two weeks in Louisiana and Minnesota. After a discussion about what happened, I reminded them to never talk to the police.
I tell them over and over again to NEVER EVER talk to the police. I don’t care if you are doing something legal or not. NEVERRRRRRR!!!!! NEVER talk to the police if they ask you any questions. I have several close friends who are cops, former cops and probably future cops and I will tell my kids and anyone reading this that due to the legacy of slavery in this country and the never ending bias against black men especially, talking to the police or even getting into any encounter with any police officer of any color is probably going to do you no good.
It doesn’t matter if the cop is black, brown, white or purple. It is a fact that we have given a certain group of people the legal authority to kill then ask questions about it later…and most likely NOT be held accountable. It is just the reality we live in today.
I tell my kids on a regular basis that the way they will be treated is different than the way their white mother will be treated-simply because they look more like me than her.
The way that my WHITE girlfriend will be treated is different than the way I’ll be treated when we drive together and are stopped by the police. The way police have treated black and brown skinned people for well over a hundred years is well documented and may never change. The only thing I feel we can do is not to interact with them and do whatever is necessary to be as well connected politically in order to gain the wealth and status needed to get out of jail quickly.
The problem is that we might never get to jail if we get shot like Philando Castile.
Davenport man is protesting a state law that requires him to financially support a child that’s not his. Joe Vandusen received a letter this month from the Iowa Department of Human Services notifying him that he would have to…
If you look through my blog you will see years of my thoughts. I have posted my thoughts on divorce, family court, college “rape,” male/female relationships and so much more. I started blogging a few years after my divorce as…
