Not Tonight, Honey, I Have A Penis

A great look at the changing roles of men and women in GQ magazine:

See, women take it personally. After years of battling the dreaded sexlesshousewife stereotype, we’re careful not to nonchalantly spurn your advances. But now we have to worry about morphing into the other sitcom cliché—the dopey husband, pawing pathetically for a bone. There are only so many times even the most brazen among us are going to get rejected before icily retreating into non-initiation mode forever. And just in general, we keep tabs on these kinds of things. A week goes by without sex? We notice. I get the feeling men don’t monitor the situation in such a macro sense. As far as you’re concerned, a good sex life is just having sex when you feel like having sex.

But guess what? That’s selfish. Sex is a two-way street! Or…I suppose, if I’m being technical about it, it’s more of a one-lane freeway tunnel and a car driven by a confused 16-year-old who keeps switching between drive and reverse over and over. The larger point is: Just try saying yes to us more often. Even if you’re a little tired.

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Read more HERE

What I’ve Learned – Mandy Patinkin

Our actions are the ground we walk on.

The thing I learned the most from my father is Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t say you’re gonna do something “when the kids grow up.” Don’t say, “I’m going to go to Israel once you guys are out of school.” Because he got pancreatic cancer at fifty-two, and he never did any of it. The gift he gave me was a residue of his death. Don’t ever wait to satisfy an idea or a hope or a dream.

I got married because I wanted to do something that was more than I understood, because my feelings were more than I understood.

What makes a good marriage? The good fortune of picking the right partner to battle it out with you and never quit on you through the hell storms.

First, you give everything you have to your children, and then if you’re lucky they give it back to you as little reminders of everything you’ve dropped along the way. But Dad, you said this. Dad, how could you forget that?

Read more HERE

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Don’t Call Him Mom, or an Imbecile

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The hapless, bumbling father is a stock character in product marketing. He makes breakfast for dinner and is incapable of handling, or sometimes even noticing, a soggy diaper. He tries desperately to hide the crumb-strewn, dirt-streaked evidence of his poor parenting before the mother gets home.

This is an image that many fathers who attended the Dad 2.0 Summit — a meeting of so-called daddy bloggers and the marketers who want to reach them — have come to revile. They are proud to be involved in domestic life and do not want to serve as the comic foil to the supercompetent mother.

In the past, consumer-product marketers weren’t all that concerned with what fathers thought — women, after all, make the majority of purchasing decisions for households. But men are catching up: In 2012 men spent an average of $36.26 at the grocery store per trip, compared with $27.49 in 2004, according to data from Nielsen. Companies see an opportunity to reach a new demographic.

The bloggers, for their part, are using their influence to change the way marketers portray them. “The payoff is huge if you get dads right,” says Jim Lin, vice president and digital strategist at Ketchum Public Relations in San Francisco, a blogger at The Busy Dad Blog and a father of two.

To put it another way, while the mom space is crowded with players, the dad space has room for more. So there is big money to be made, both by companies looking at fathers as consumers and by daddy bloggers looking to ride a wave of brand sponsorship just as mommy bloggers have……

…..Last year, the daddy blogosphere erupted when Huggies released a commercialthat showed a group of fathers and their babies, with a voice-over that said, “To prove Huggies diapers and wipes can handle anything, we put them to the toughest test imaginable: Dads, alone with their babies, in one house, for five days.”

The daddy bloggers were led by Chris Routly, 37, a stay-at-home father in Portland, Ore., who blogs at The Daddy Doctrines. He started a petition calling on Huggies, which is owned by the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, to pull the ad.

“The verbiage was implying that dads need the help of a special product to overcome our incompetence,” says Mr. Routly, whose sons are 4 and 2.

The petition on Change.org drew 1,300 signatures, but Mr. Routly closed it after a Huggies representative called him to solicit advice about making the company’s marketing more acceptable to fathers.

Huggies replaced the commercial with a spot that had already been shot, with a different voice-over: “To prove Huggies diapers can handle anything, we asked real dads to put them to the test — with their own babies, at naptime, after a very full feeding.” The subtle difference in wording implied that fathers were discerning diaper experts, rather than neglectful idiots….

….To capture that growing market, brands face a challenge: How do they appeal to fathers’ competence without making them look like mothers?

Some daddy bloggers grumbled over a 2011 ad for Procter & Gamble’s Tide detergent that showed a stay-at-home father folding laundry and referred to him as a “dad-mom.” The National At-Home Dad Network, a nonprofit group that had a booth at the summit, puts it this way in its literature: “Dads do not parent like Mom, nor are a replacement for her when she’s not home.”

Read more HERE

Women Who Make America

MAKERS: Women Who Make America tells the remarkable story of the most sweeping social revolution in American history, as women have asserted their rights to a full and fair share of political power, economic opportunity, and personal autonomy. It’s a revolution that has unfolded in public and private, in courts and Congress, in the boardroom and the bedroom, changing not only what the world expects from women, but what women expect from themselves. MAKERS brings this story to life with priceless archival treasures and poignant, often funny interviews with those who led the fight, those who opposed it, and those first generations to benefit from its success. Trailblazing women like Hillary Rodham Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey share their memories, as do countless women who challenged the status quo in industries from coal-mining to medicine. Makers captures with music, humor, and the voices of the women who lived through these turbulent times the dizzying joy, aching frustration and ultimate triumph of a movement that turned America upside-down.

“In order to get people’s attention you need to blow a loud trumpet. You gotta beat the drum loudly…and no one listens to you when you go quietly into the night’ – Oprah

Remember that statement…..

Watch the trailer here: http://video.pbs.org/video/2273015711

The Hapless Dad No More…I hope

It’s the height of irony that since I became a mom, I have felt myself becoming a champion for fathers. Sure, before I had a kid, I liked dads all right. I love my daddy, and I knew my husband was bound to be a good father. But I didn’t really notice how awful the portrayals of fathers on TV were until I was faced, day after day, with a man who was anything but the bumbling idiot you see on the average sitcom or commercial.

It’s the hapless dad so pervasive in American advertising that made the dad bloggers at the Dad 2.0 Summit tell American companies in no uncertain terms earlier this month that they’ve had just about enough. They’re not going to be made fun of anymore and take it lying down. And you know what?

They shouldn’t have to! The man I married isn’t the moron that Skechers has made fathers out to be in their latest horrendous ad campaign. He’s a man who is every bit as involved in his daughter’s life as I am, and when companies insult him, they’re insulting our whole family dynamic.

Those are the companies that I tend to shy away from. The companies that have decided to embrace modern fatherhood, on the other hand? I’ll gladly give them my business … and the good news is, they exist.

Just take a look at some of these ads that “get” dads:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCYwAOCLiTA&w=560&h=315]

 

Read more and see the rest of the videos HERE

Question Bridge

Question Bridge: Black Males is a transmedia art project that seeks to represent and redefine Black male identity in America. Through video mediated question and answer exchange, diverse members of this “demographic” bridge economic, political, geographic, and generational divisions.

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