Legally Obscene: Rape, Statutory Rape, and Child Support
One day we will all see child support for what it really is…a transfer of money from fathers to mothers. It has nothing to do with supporting children. I have been saying this over and over and over again. Here is yet another example of why I feel child support laws need SERIOUS reform.
From the A Voice For Men article by Walter Romans
An excerpt:
Statutory rape laws have often been controversial and unequally applied to male and female victims and perpetrators. While very few believe that sexual activity with minors who have not yet reached puberty (child molestation) is acceptable, many believe that once a child has reached puberty, the child should be capable of providing consent to sexual activity. Statutory rape laws are based on the premise that persons below a specified age or who suffer from certain mental deficiencies are incapable of providing consent. These laws make it illegal for adults to coerce children into having sex.
Historically, statutory rape laws were designed to protect teenage girls from males who may take their virginity, impregnate them, and refuse to take responsibility and marry them. Thus, they served the purpose of protecting the honor of the girl and of preventing teenage pregnancy. They also helped to ensure the child would have a means of support. It wasn’t until much later that these laws began to be applied to protect boys as well. However, the application remains quite uneven.
According to the DOJ, 95% of statutory rape victims reported to law enforcement are female, yet many studies have determined that boys comprise a much higher percentage of the victims. For instance, Dorais estimates that one in six boys will be sexually abused before the age of 16.
Social attitudes are primarily responsible for the double standard. According to Miriam Denov, there is a “myth of innocence” surrounding female sexuality that frequently regards sex between a young male and an older female to be a rite of passage and that it is somehow acceptable or less harmful than when the other way around. Further, boys are taught not to view themselves as victims as this is “unmanly.”
Law enforcement may not take such complaints seriously. In a previous post (Living in a Culture of Denial), I discussed the problems with the attitude of law enforcement towards male victims. Officers and other professionals may even redefine the act so as to make it acceptable. Even the male victims may view it as a positive experience and not a crime, leading to gross underreporting. In what may be the most bizarre denial of the existence of male victims, courts have held that male victims of rape can be held responsible for child support.
In California, an appellate court upheld an order (San Luis Obispo Count y v. Nathan J., 1996) forcing a 15 year old boy to pay child support to his rapist after she became pregnant and gave birth.The court ruled that although the boy was considered too young to provide consent to the sex act, he was an admitted willing participant and therefore liable to pay support stating that he was not an “innocent victim” because he had discussed it with his rapist prior to having sex.
That this act was illegal and may have constituted coercion was apparently lost on the court. If the boy is considered legally incapable of providing consent, how can he be considered legally liable for giving that consent? Any consent or cooperation on his part should have been considered coercion and therefore not consent at all.
Read the rest HERE
The Power Of Dad
Yeah, It’s an Oral-B commercial. I hate these kinds of things, but I posted this because of the message it sends about the importance fathers and the role we play.
In this blog, I choose to be the total opposite of most of our media. What you tend to see on TV, print media and online are the worst examples of fathers and men. I know there is another side they are not showing. The more light I can expose on the realities of men like my father, my close friends and the millions of other great dads out here being the best dads they can be, the better.
The tag line in this ad says:
Every step of the way, a dad’s had a smile for you
Give him the power to keep it that way.
Well, I wouldn’t even think about a tooth brush as a tool to empower dads.
What tools do dads need to keep a smile on their face? Well…first, I would take a look at how our media portrays bumbling dads, I would look into how out court system is biased towards mothers and how out laws are stuck in an era that resembles the 1950’s, then maybe think deeper about how there is no such thing as “equality” when it comes to expectations of work life balance between men and women. After we did that, then I would update alimony and child support laws to reflect life in modern America, I would advise the courts to assume 50/50 shared parenting post divorce/breakup and I would no longer allow for false accusations to go unpunished and prosecute those who are found guilty of it.
Let’s start there. After we clean up those things, maybe then we can talk about creature comforts like the proper toothbrush for optimal oral hygiene.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luCYvBauW5o&w=560&h=315]
Not Lovin’ It: Dad Accused of ‘Unfit Parenting’ for Refusing to Take His Son to McDonalds
This is just another day in the life of fathers all across the country who are involved in silly custody disputes. If this does not expose the nonsense that goes on in family court, nothing will. One day, we will rip the lid off of the roof of these places and expose the rats that actually run around the halls of these buildings. There are colonies of rats. Usually, they are old, dressed in robes and hate men.
Magistrates, judges, and apparently court-appointed psychologists are all part of the infestation.
From Time Magazine:
Divorce can be ugly to begin with, but it’s uglier when McDonald’s gets involved in your custody battle.
It’s already bad enough that attorney David Schorr is embroiled in the tug-of-war with wife Bari Yunis Schorr over their 4-year-old son, but now he’s filed a defamation suit against psychologist Marilyn Schiller for telling a judge that he was an unfit parent for not taking his kid to the fast-food joint when he demanded it.
According to court documents, during an Oct. 30 visit, the boy insisted on a trip to the Golden Arches rather than the Manhattan restaurant where Schorr normally takes him. Schorr, wary of junk food overconsumption, declined to do so and offered instead to take him any place else, which triggered a tantrum.
Schorr stood his ground though, and took the boy back home to his mother. But Schiller, a court-appointed psychologist, told the court hearing the divorce case that because he wouldn’t take the boy to McDonald’s, he was “wholly incapable” of taking care of the child and asked the court to intervene, restricting the time Schorr got to spend with the boy.
That apparently was the last fry for Schorr and he filed suit in Manhattan Supreme Court against Schiller, saying that she lied about him not being able to take care of the boy for at least 90 minutes and failed to discuss the McMeltdown with the father before going to a judge.
Still for all the trouble, Schorr wishes he had just given in and taken the kid to Mickey D’s, “but you get nervous about rewarding bad behavior,” he said. “I think it was a 1950s’ equivalent of sending your child to bed without dinner.” However, he told the New York Daily News he suspects the whole thing may be a ploy by his wife to win full custody.
Child Support Laws Are In Need Of Reform
An opionion piece by Brenda Manghane-Washington from the Chattanoogan.com
Excerpt:
…I still believe there’s a need of reform in child support laws. As they stand, there is no distinction between a parent who can’t pay and a parent who refuses to pay child support. By incarcerating non-custodial parents who do not have the means to pay nothing is accomplished, the children still go without. Struggling communities continue to deteriorate, and now there’s an added burden of having a parent with a criminal record that can possibly later affect the child or children even more so in a negative way later in life. Upon release, the non-custodial parent is still without a job and now, with a criminal record, it will be even more difficult to find one that pays a livable wage.
Child support laws, as they presently operate, have become a modern day debtor’s prison. As the non-custodial parent in many states aren’t offered the benefit of legal representation, and without the benefit of looking at each case individually and evaluating the persons ability to pay.
In a case in Floyd County Georgia in 2011, Miller (along with five other plaintiffs) filed a class action lawsuit which in part stated: “Plaintiffs are indigent parents who have been jailed without counsel for being too poor to fulfill their court-ordered child support obligations. Some of the Plaintiffs have serious physical disabilities. Others have spent months looking for work, only to find none. All are destitute, but all have been or will likely be incarcerated.” Pursuant to civil contempt orders that condition their release on payment of enormous “purge fees.” Languishing in jail for weeks, months, and sometimes over a year, these parents share one trait in common besides their poverty: they went to jail without ever talking to an attorney. Not one plaintiff had an appointed attorney to explain to a court that, through no fault of his own, he had no ability to pay. Not one had an appointed attorney.
Randy Miller, a 39-year-old Iraqi war vet, who was originally sentenced to three months in prison for violating a court order to pay child support, is one of six individuals who filed the lawsuit. The judge who presided over the original case the sent him to prison for three months didn’t bother to take into account Miller’s financial situation, or the fact he’d fallen behind in support payments due having been out of work, nor the fact that he’d only recently gone back to work (similar case here in Chattanooga recently).
When Miller asked the judge to at least give him a month to catch up on payments the judge turned him down, and ordered him to prison. With his job being new, that job would not likely be waiting on him upon release three months later. So the cycle would start over again. Child (children) going without. Father absent, not necessarily by choice but by being incarcerated, and father getting locked up all over again at some point upon release for lack of employment, and now with a criminal record which would make it even more difficult to find employment. So who really wins? The courts? Who really lose? We all?
Child support laws are in serious need of reform in the state of Tennessee and in Chattanooga, as well as as other states, towns and cities. As they presently operate they do more to harm the child/children, and entire communities. In the end no one wins.
Read more HERE
Broken homes, broken boys
There will be a certain point where the bullsh*t they tell people on cable news will finally end. Everything I have been saying is true, real and is starting to rear it’s ugly head…especially in places like CHICAGO.
The nuclear-family meltdown of the past half a century has been particularly toxic to boys.
BY KAY S. HYMOWITZ
When I started following the research on child well-being about two decades ago, the focus was almost always girls’ problems — their low self-esteem, lax ambitions, eating disorders and, most alarming, high rates of teen pregnancy. Now, though, with teen births down more than 50% from their 1991 peak and girls dominating classrooms and graduation ceremonies, boys and men are increasingly the ones under examination. Their high school grades and college attendance rates have remained stalled for decades. Among poor and working-class boys, the chances of climbing out of the low-end labor market — and of becoming reliable husbands and fathers — are looking worse and worse.
This spring, MIT economist David Autor and coauthor Melanie Wasserman suggested a reason for this: the growing number of fatherless homes. Boys and young men weren’t behaving rationally, they suggested, because their family situations had left them without the necessary attitudes and skills to adapt to changing social and economic conditions. Anyone interested in the plight of poor and working-class men — and, more broadly, mobility and the American dream — should hope this research, and the considerable biological and psychological evidence behind it, become part of the public debate.
Signs that the nuclear-family meltdown of the past half a century has been particularly toxic to boys are not new. As far back as the 1970s, family researchers began noticing that, although both girls and boys showed distress when their parents split up, they had different ways of showing it. Girls tended to “internalize” their unhappiness and were likely to become depressed and anxious. Boys, on the other hand, “externalized” or “acted out”: They became more impulsive, aggressive and “antisocial.”
Both reactions were worrisome, but boys’ behavior had the disadvantage of annoying and even frightening classmates, teachers and neighbors. Boys from broken homes were more likely than their peers to get suspended and arrested. Girls’ unhappiness also seemed to ease within a year or two of their parents’ divorce; boys’ didn’t.
Autor and Wasserman cite a large study by University of Chicago sociologists Marianne Bertrand and Jessica Pan, which shows that, by fifth grade, fatherless boys were more disruptive than peers from two-parent families, and by eighth grade, they had a substantially greater likelihood of getting suspended. And justice experts have long known that juvenile facilities and adult jails overflow with sons from broken families.
Liberals often assume that these kinds of social problems result from our stingy support system for single mothers and their children. Provide more maternity leave, quality daycare and healthcare, goes the thinking, and a lot of the disadvantages of single-parent homes would vanish. But the link between criminality and fatherlessness holds even in countries with lavish social welfare systems. A 2006 Finnish study of 2,700 boys, for instance, concluded that living in a non-intact family at age 8 predicted a variety of criminal offenses.
Even boys who don’t land in juvenile court find their prospects diminished. Several studies have concluded that boys raised in single-parent homes are less likely to go to college than boys with similar achievement levels raised in married-couple families; girls show no such gap.
So why do boys in single-mother families have a harder time of it than their sisters? If you were to ask the average person on the street, he would probably give some variation of the role-model theory: Boys need fathers because that’s who teaches them how to be men. The theory makes intuitive sense. And some evidence exists, though it’s far from settled, that boys who live with their fathers after divorce are better off than those who stay with their mothers.
As the sole explanation for the boy disadvantage, though, the role-model theory needs modification. If boys simply needed men in their lives to teach them the ways of the gendered world, then uncles, family friends, mentors, teachers, stepfathers and nonresidential but involved fathers could do the trick. It’s not clear that this is the case. And stepfathers have an especially mixed record in helping boys, the research shows. Professors Cynthia Harper and Sara McLanahan found that among boys they studied, the ones without fathers were more likely to be incarcerated, but they also found that those who lived with stepfathers were at even higher risk of incarceration than the single-mom cohort.
If the trends of the last 40 years continue — and there’s little reason to think that they won’t — the percentage of boys growing up with single mothers will keep growing. No one knows how to stem that tide. But by understanding the way family instability interacts with boys’ restless natures, educators could experiment with approaches that might improve at least some lives.
Read more HERE