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Wimpy Kids
Here is a fascinating article that everyone should read.
A Nation Of Wimps By Hara Estroff Marano
excerpts:
……No one doubts that there are significant economic forces pushing parents to invest so heavily in their children’s outcome from an early age. But taking all the discomfort, disappointment and even the play out of development, especially while increasing pressure for success, turns out to be misguided by just about 180 degrees. With few challenges all their own, kids are unable to forge their creative adaptations to the normal vicissitudes of life. That not only makes them risk-averse, it makes them psychologically fragile, riddled with anxiety. In the process they’re robbed of identity, meaning and a sense of accomplishment, to say nothing of a shot at real happiness. Forget, too, about perseverance, not simply a moral virtue but a necessary life skill. These turn out to be the spreading psychic fault lines of 21st-century youth. Whether we want to or not, we’re on our way to creating a nation of wimps.
Primary schools and high schools are arguably just as guilty of grade inflation. But if you’re searching for someone to blame, consider Dr. Seuss. “Parents have told their kids from day one that there’s no end to what they are capable of doing,” says Virginia’s Portmann. “They read them the Dr. Seuss book Oh, the Places You’ll Go! and create bumper stickers telling the world their child is an honor student. American parents today expect their children to be perfect—the smartest, fastest, most charming people in the universe. And if they can’t get the children to prove it on their own, they’ll turn to doctors to make their kids into the people that parents want to believe their kids are……”
What they’re really doing, he stresses, is “showing kids how to work the system for their own benefit…..”
……In the hothouse that child raising has become, play is all but dead. Over 40,000 U.S. schools no longer have recess. And what play there is has been corrupted. The organized sports many kids participate in are managed by adults; difficulties that arise are not worked out by kids but adjudicated by adult referees.
Kids are having a hard time even playing neighborhood pick-up games because they’ve never done it, observes Barbara Carlson, president and cofounder of Putting Families First. “They’ve been told by their coaches where on the field to stand, told by their parents what color socks to wear, told by the referees who’s won and what’s fair. Kids are losing leadership skills……”
…..A lot has been written about the commercialization of children’s play, but not the side effects, says Elkind. “Children aren’t getting any benefits out of play as they once did.” From the beginning play helps children learn how to control themselves, how to interact with others. Contrary to the widely held belief that only intellectual activities build a sharp brain, it’s in play that cognitive agility really develops. Studies of children and adults around the world demonstrate that social engagement actually improves intellectual skills. It fosters decision-making, memory and thinking, speed of mental processing. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, the human mind is believed to have evolved to deal with social problems……
……The perpetual access to parents infantilizes the young, keeping them in a permanent state of dependency. Whenever the slightest difficulty arises, “they’re constantly referring to their parents for guidance,” reports Kramer. They’re not learning how to manage for themselves.
Think of the cell phone as the eternal umbilicus. One of the ways we grow up is by internalizing an image of Mom and Dad and the values and advice they imparted over the early years. Then, whenever we find ourselves faced with uncertainty or difficulty, we call on that internalized image. We become, in a way, all the wise adults we’ve had the privilege to know. “But cell phones keep kids from figuring out what to do,” says Anderegg. “They’ve never internalized any images; all they’ve internalized is ‘call Mom or Dad…….’
Read more HERE
The Female Child Molester
Wow! Imagine if this were a male teacher.
The New York Daily News reported:
A California high school teacher has been busted for underage sex – just days after giving birth to a baby allegedly fathered by her student lover.
Laura Elizabeth Whitehurst, 28, was detained by cops in her Redlands home on Monday evening.
Redlands PD revealed the 10th-grade English teacher at Citrus Valley High School faces a charge of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.
She was booked into jail and released after posting a $25,000 bond.
Police claim she had a year-long relationship with a 16-year-old boy. It resulted in her giving birth to a child June 18.
The boy’s mom somehow found out about the alleged affair last week, contacted school district bosses and the cops.
After I first read about this incident, I followed up. Not only has a second student come out and stated he was 16 when they had sexual relationship in 2007 after she told him she had “dreamed about kissing him,” but a third former student has stepped forward to claim he had a sexual relationship with the teacher who was just arrested.
The latest victim was just 14 when he allegedly had sex with Laura Elizabeth Whitehurst, then 23, in her classroom before school, as well as her apartment and in her car in 2007.
What would be said if this were a man getting involved with a female student? Forget the fact that anyone got pregnant. Let’s just say a 28 year old male teacher was sexually active with a 16 year old girl.
How different would the story be?
Would the words “creepy,” “sexual offender,” or “child molester” be included in the report or would it be toned down to include words like “student lover?”
How often are these cases even reported? It happens more a lot more than you think.
Are 16 year old boys incapable of being manipulated? Only girls can be talked into doing things that are illegal and immoral? What about the fact that these boys are underag and being preyed upon by older women? What does it say about the women who do these things? Are they not held to the same social standard as men?
I’m tired of double standards and will be more than happy to point them out.
And please don’t get me started on the issues of child support in cases like this! You probably didn’t even think about that did you?
Remember this the next time you read about a man being caught with an underage girl.
Stop Insulting Fathers!
Watch this video. Yeah, you have to get through the advertisement, but it might just make you think a little differently:
[cnnvideo url=’http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2012/06/14/dads-fight-stereotypes.cnn’ inline=’true’]
Amid fury, Clorox pulls post insulting new dads
Clorox pulled what was intended to be a humorous Web post listing the shortcomings of new fathers after an internet uproar
Editor’s note: CNN’s Josh Levs covers a wide range of topics and also offers his personal take on issues affecting fathers and families. He covers fatherhood for HLN’s Raising America. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.
(CNN) — Just when you think derogatory stereotypes about dads are on the decline as fathers take a more hands-on role in child-rearing, along comes an online posting by a major brand that shows not everyone got the memo.
And this one — published, then pulled, by Clorox — charts new terrain in depicting first-time fathers as clueless buffoons.
“Saying ‘No-no’ is not just for baby. Like dogs or other house pets, new dads are filled with good intentions but lacking the judgment and fine motor skills to execute well,” it reads.
Somehow, it manages to get even more offensive from there.
The list of “6 mistakes new dads make” begins with a father taking his child for a walk in “a cold, brisk, rain-soaked stroller” and only after 10 minutes beginning to wonder “why is this baby crying so much?” At that point, he notices his child is wearing “a short-sleeved summer onesie.”
He’s also likely to put his child’s clothes on backwards and not understand why they fit wrong.
He lets baby eat off the floor — so, the web post cautions, “At least get him to enforce a 5-second rule.”
He fails to notice the food — or, worse, Play-Doh — all over his baby’s face, let alone wipe it off.
Then he gives his child inappropriate screen time, plopping the baby down in front of “reality shows.”
Parental outcry led Clorox to reexamine the wisdom of the post. The company pulled the page from its website, but did not post a statement in response to the uproar.
When I asked for comment, the company sent me this brief statement: “This article was written by a dad for other dads to make a lighthearted comparison between bachelor lives and new parent lives. We took the article down based on feedback and we know how seriously dads take their parental responsibilities.”
The post included some classic insults: “Prudence won’t stop Daddy from relaxing with a brew and blaring inappropriate shows while baby stares in horror/awe/wonder at the colorful moving yell-box. Tell Dad to embrace parental sacrifice and crack a book.”
Finally, to top off this glorious work of wisdom and respect, the post states, “Some new dads have been inspired by raunchy comedies to bring babies to inappropriate places like casinos, pool halls, and poetry readings.”
Yes, you read that correctly. Poetry readings.
Well, at least it’s clear where Clorox got the inspiration for these stereotypes: fiction.
“None of these places are healthy for baby,” the post continues. “If dad needs persuading, just tell him that babies are terrible tippers and can never make bank shots.”
Wow.
Read more HERE
Why The Mommy Wars Rage On
Let’s be clear: It is a privileged group of women and men who ever confront this decision. Many don’t have anything approaching a financial choice when it comes to working. Others have children whose health problems dictate that someone be there to manage their care. The issue is further distorted by socioeconomic class: One mother stays home because child care for her kids would cost more than she could possibly earn or because she can’t find appropriate employment; another stays home but has full-time help and plenty of money left over. There is a danger in lumping people together too categorically.
Ask 500 people a bunch of questions and you will learn something. Our biggest surprise: the men. We threw them into the mix in the hope that they’d have something to add on this subject. Wow, do they ever. In one series of provocative questions, many declined to take sides. But when the men did choose an answer, they clearly shared the point of view of stay-at-home moms. If working mothers feel ambivalent about heading out to the office every day—and our survey says they do—could they partly be reacting to their husbands’ attitudes? The men who spoke up said stay-at-home moms are better mothers (by a ratio of 7 to 1), make better role models (2 to 1) and have better-behaved children (6 to 1). Try packing that in your briefcase and lugging it to the office every day.
Read more HERE
13 Signs Your Wife or Girlfriend is a Borderline or a Narcissist
Here are some common side effects of being in an abusive relationship, whether the abusive individual has a personality disorder or not:
1) Censoring your thoughts and feelings. You edit it yourself because you’re afraid of her reactions. Swallowing the lump in your throat and your hurt and anger is easier than dealing with another fight or hurt feelings. In fact, you may have stuffed your own emotions for so long that you no longer know what you think or feel.
2) Everything is your fault. You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship and in general, even if it has no basis in reality.
3) Constant criticism. She criticizes nearly everything you do and nothing is ever good enough. No matter how hard you try, there’s no pleasing her or, if you do, it’s few and far between.
4) Control freak. She engages in manipulative behaviors, even lying, in an effort to control you.
5) Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde. One moment she’s kind and loving; the next she’s flipping out on you. She becomes so vicious, you wonder if she’s the same person. The first time it happens, you write it off. Now, it’s a regular pattern of behavior that induces feelings of depression, anxiety, helplessness and/or despair within you.
6) Your feelings don’t count. Your needs and feelings, if you’re brave enough to express them, are ignored, ridiculed, minimized and/or dismissed. You’re told that you’re too demanding, that there’s something wrong with you and that you need to be in therapy. You’re denied the right to your feelings.
7) Questioning your own sanity. You’ve begun to wonder if you’re crazy because she puts down your point of view and/or denies things she says or does. If you actually confide these things to a friend or family member, they don’t believe you because she usually behaves herself around other people.
Read more HERE
